Monthly Archives: February 2006

Extracurriculars: Those Nuts

What a few NYer cartoonists are up to (links mine, all mine):

Not only is Diamond [Foods Inc., “the $428 million producer of walnuts for cooking and snacks”] spending big on a single Super Bowl ad, it’s also launching an extensive print ad campaign, with quarter-page ads alternating in the New York Times and USA Today for 10 days leading up to the game.

The ads, by New Yorker magazine cartoonists J.C. Duffy and Jack Ziegler, have the same wordplay theme as the TV spot.

While I was looking for an image of said nut cartoons, Google yielded this phrase: “Diamond Foods’ Emerald Nuts division is buying advertising space in The New …” Yorker? Maybe. Could be The New Republic, The New Social Worker, The New Criterion, The New England Magazine (circa 1886), any number of others. Page is gone and uncached. Uncashewed, one might say. Ah, it’s The New York Times. So much for synergy. The previous link appears to contain a small, grainy version of the Ziegler/Duffy cartoon in question, and I invite you to enjoy it, if you can. Or look at the crossword section of the Times tomorrow. You heard it here first, sorta.

Very small screen grab...

Pitbullish Growls


Here’s the first response I’ve seen so far to Malcolm Gladwell’s piece on various kinds of profiling, including smuggler-screening and canine prejudice:

But two points: first, pit bulls are more likely to be trained or abused in a way that makes them dangerous. Trends about Rottweilers or Dobermans may come and go, but pit bull breeds will always be popular fighting dogs. Why? Because they’re really good at it. This relates to my second point: if it turns on a person for whatever reason, a pit bull is a very dangerous dog. Have you ever seen a pit bull in a fight? Some of them have jaws the size of a football, and when they get a hold of something, it is almost impossible to free. Even the best-trained animal can get in a situation that is dangerous to humans — say, a pit bull is attacked by another dog, and that dog’s owner is a ten-year-old boy who runs up, screaming. Pit bulls are more likely to be abused and more likely, if involved in an attack on a person, to be involved in a serious or even fatal attack. And laws banning pit bulls are often the only way that the owners of fighting dogs are punished (which happens very rarely in the first place). Besides, anyone getting a dog, unless they’re a shepherd or a police officer, is best served by getting a mutt. All this talk of the best breed only encourages people to get pets that really aren’t best for family ownership and to leave great animals languishing in shelters or wandering as unwanted strays. More.

The critic above calls himself Drinky the Drunk Guy. I hope some angry pit-bull owners write in to defend the breed, just for fun. City and airport officials, etc., are busy arguing the civil-liberties and security issues Gladwell highlights, but there’s at least one simple conclusion to be drawn from the doggy part of the piece. Gladwell:

A 1991 study in Denver, for example, compared a hundred and seventy-eight dogs with a history of biting people with a random sample of a hundred and seventy-eight dogs with no history of biting. The breeds were scattered: German shepherds, Akitas, and Chow Chows were among those most heavily represented…. The biters were 6.2 times as likely to be male than female, and 2.6 times as likely to be intact than neutered.

The fellow whose pit bulls attacked a kid and his mom in the story felt that $100 was too expensive for neutering. It’s probably too expensive for a lot of people. Reduce strays and attacks and fix animals for free!

When I was in first grade, a boy I loved because his name was Shaun (as in Cassidy) invited me over to his house. Of course, I went. His dog bit my hand hard, and there was blood everywhere. The romance was through. I saw him years later in tenth grade; he had blond dreadlocks and played D&D. Nice guy, though. It was only his dog that left something to be desired. It didn’t turn me against dogs, just (for a while) boys.

Later: Speaking of which, in the same issue, the dog—let’s call him Spot—in the small illustration at the bottom of page 61 (mid-brilliant Katherine Boo piece, best in issue) sure looks ferocious…

More un-captions for your clicking pleasure

Hi Gawkerati. There are more faux contest captions like Charles Lavoie’s “Christ, what an asshole!” around, most currently in Daniel Radosh’s consistently funny anti-caption contest, in which readers submit the worst possible caption for the current drawing. Radosh’s legions are already working on the new Gahan Wilson drawing; after you’re sufficiently inspired, you may want to enter for real.

Other cartoonist-type wags took stabs at various NYer cartoons in a thread called “Photoshop Fun: Make Your Own New Yorker Cartoon!” Earl Wang did a bit for McSweeney’s about a previous incarnation of the caption contest. In some subliminal webby way, it may well have inspired Lavoie, what with the rampant cussing.

BTW, here’s who to vote for in the current contest (a snake-wrapped woman on the couch, drawn by Matthew Diffee): John Mainieri, who submitted “Oh, he probably just smells your python.” It’s by far the funniest and he’s from New York. What better reasons are there?

Later on: Ah, yes, another potty-mouthed parody. I’d almost forgotten about this one.

Crappy, crappy IE

Note to IE 6 users: Your browser makes emdashes look like Bette Davis under a bare bulb. For one thing, the sidebar gets pushed way down so you can’t see my adorably formatted blogroll. Switch to Safari! Also, the logo should be centered at the top of the page. Email me if that’s not how it appears on your browser; I’m trying to address these issues. Even better, tell me how to fix it. Believe me, I’ve tried…

Later: This seems like a good place to say that I’ve always intended emdashes to be at least 99 44/100 percent mistake-free, so if you ever see anything misspelled or misreported, unsightly code, shoddy grammar, questionable semicolon use, a bad link, or just something you don’t much like the look of, for the love of Thurber, write in!

And later: I think I’ve fixed the sidebar problem, thanks to some new friends at Blogger Forums. Now, if Joe the commenter—or anyone else, for that matter—wants to report back with some Clearasil for those blemishes he spotted, that would really be smashing.