Monthly Archives: June 2006

Criterion Haiku

Criterion sponsored a May Haiku Contest with, naturally, a movie theme. One of my favorites, by Dana Gustafson:

Need more DVDs
My wife does not agree so
I hide them from her

And this one by Milo George:

Rainy Saturday;
Watch the Cassavetes box.
Oh, now it’s Monday.

It brings to mind Tom Bartlett’s very funny recent series on Minor Tweaks, “A brief dialogue between THE ME WHO SELECTS NETFLIX MOVIES and THE REAL ME,” which begins here (“Oh crap. What is this?” “It’s called ‘The Story of the Weeping Camel…’ “).

A Google Search

that led someone to emdashes.com today: “words that rhyme with dumpster.” Let’s help out this frustrated songsmith or lonesome sonneteer; post your answers in the comments.

With that, I return to jury duty, in the rain.

James Wolcott Reviews the Archive DVDs

In The New Criterion. As usual, Wolcott is careful with his subject, with the language, with the fears and rewards of the critical process:

When word arrived last autumn that The New Yorker was releasing a deluxe boxed CD set of every issue of the magazine published since its monocled dandy espied a butterfly on the cover of the February 21, 1925 debut, my first thought was: “Happy-doodle-day!” That may speak to a certain lack of excitement in my life, but for a magazine junkie, this was the mother lode, the treasure of the Sierra Madre. Never again would I haunt the flea markets for back issues from the 1930s and 1940s, hoping to luck into a John O’Hara story I hadn’t read before, or a sporty Peter Arno cover. Professionally, it was also a must-have. For journalists, researchers, historians, educators, and average buffs, the technological breakthrough in the digitalization of magazine archives is a boon to cultural preservation, putting the past—history as it happened—within fingertip reach. Other weeklies, such as The Nation and The New Republic, have digitized their archives, but those virtual libraries are maintained online, requiring subscription fees or single payments to access articles. (I’ve used both services to excavate art and movie reviews by Manny Farber, one of my critical idols, that otherwise would have remained orphaned within bound volumes.) The New Yorker was doing The Nation and The New Republic one better by bypassing the entire online rigamarole and giving readers the complete works in a handsome, handy, illustrated multi-disk set.

After some initial apprehension, he digs in:

After I finally broke down, sliced through the plastic, split open the accursed thing, and inserted the installation disk into the laptop, I found myself lured into a Borgesian labyrinth of interlocking chambers, spiral stairs, and odd detours that unearthed archeological finds wherever the links led. Daylight disappeared as I descended into permanent dusk, the thumbnail covers of The New Yorker instilling a nostalgia for a time I had never known.

I like his allowances for time’s various effects on taste, including his own:

The “Staffs of Life” series came to typify and symbolize the monumental tombstone tedium of the New Yorker fact piece at its most didactic-pedantic, and even now, decades later, I still hear the occasional chortle, “Remember when The New Yorkerran 50,000 words on grain?” I inserted disk two into the laptop to see if Kahn’s articles were as boring as I remembered, and, as I began to read, I realized that I never had read them, only given them a skim when they were originally published, having taken everybody’s word for how boring they were. I can’t say I was riveted, but the pieces were, I have to confess—interesting. Reams of research braided into elegant histories, and nothing to belittle.

I was sorry to see such a tinny dismissal of the cover artist Gretchen Dow Simpson (and the seeming suggestion that it was fiction’s, ahem, “maidens of sorrow” who were primarily responsible for “low-cal” minimalism). At least one of Wolcott’s closing questions will get people arguing: “Why does The New Yorker’s current slate of female byliners (Susan Orlean, Joan Acocella, Nancy Franklin, Caitlan Flanagan, et al.) seem so much girlier than its former greats (Flanner, Kael, Lois Long, Andy Logan, Maeve Brennan, Emily Hahn)?” You think Nancy Franklin is girly, really? Rebecca Mead? Arlene Croce? Larissa MacFarquhar? Cynthia Zarin? Katha Pollitt? I can’t agree. (Incidentally, Dennis Johnson at Moby Lives tallied up the women writers in the magazine throughout 2002, and found a dearth. I’d be interested in another survey for ’05; I think the statistics would be sunnier—more Flanagan, more Zarin, more Mead—but I can’t be sure.)

Anyway, the reason I bow, deeply if not especially girlishly, to Wolcott is for sentences like this: “A product of the George Jean Nathan-H. L. Mencken 1920s with a dash of Punch, Harold Ross’s New Yorker flashed its grin like a marquee, its jibes and quips syncopated to the staccato rhythms of newsrooms typewriters and the tap-happy Broadway stage.” Or this description of E.B. White: “A prodigious miniaturist who composed hundreds of cartoon captions, newsbreaks, short stories, essays, and Talk of the Town notes and comments (scroll through his credits on the archive search and it’s like watching an endless armada enter the harbor), White taxed his feathery touch of concentration to the breaking point.” Or this summary of the magazine’s new stance after World War II: ” It was the genius of The New Yorker that it recognized this evolutionary shift and, instead of making incremental adjustments at a stately pace, launched a preemptive strike on its readers’ expectations.” The subject (and the reader) enjoy the same level of respect and genuine institutional knowledge that’s here in The New Criterion as they do in Wolcott’s Vanity Fair pieces and on his blog. Say what you will about the wacky standards of new media—Wolcott makes the high-wire somersaults look (that’s look) easy.

Wolcott’s piece cont’d. Thanks to T.P. for the tip.

Map of the Caption Contest Winners


Oh, David Marc Fischer, you clever thing! Here’s the full map, and David’s analysis. There are lots of East Coasters, as you might expect, but some Westies, too (that’s actually the name for West Coast swing dancers, who may or may not be caption contest winners, but it’s a useful term; plus, Westies wear funny outfits to dance in, which is probably also true of many Californians), and a pretty respectable smattering in between. Of course, this map only underscores the grievous truth that Canadians are not allowed to enter. If people in Canada could enter the caption contest, they wouldn’t be mixing up explosives, now, would they. They’re known to be funnier than us—are we threatened?


While you’re revisiting your fuzzy (in whatever sense) memories of caption contests past, pay a visit to some of the winners to whom I’ve posed incredibly serious questions: T.C. Doyle, Adam Szymkowicz and Szymkowicz again, Drew Dernavich (who is, of course, a New Yorker cartoonist), Evan Butterfield, Jan Richardson, and our very own Roy Futterman.

Mrs. Parker and the June Jamboree


From our friends at The Dorothy Parker Society (a few links are mine):

June looks to be one of the most jam-packed months of the calendar for the Dorothy Parker Society. We hope you can make it out to one of our events. All are open to the public.

Wednesday, June 7, 8 p.m. is the 39th anniversary of Dorothy Parker’s death. We have been toasting her passing with a cocktail party for eight years straight. This year we are moving the party to Elaine’s, 1703 2nd Ave. (between 88th and 89th streets). This classic and well-known New York saloon is around the corner from Mrs. Parker’s former apartment, as well as Frank Campbell’s, where her funeral was held. Elaine’s has a book about the place, Everyone Comes to Elaine’s. It is a pop-culture Mecca…. Meet us in the bar area, maybe we will have a table too. (Must be 21.)

Friday, June 9, Parker Talk — Marion Meade and Kevin Fitzpatrick are appearing at the West Side YMCA, 5 West 63rd Street (between Central Park West & Broadway), 8 p.m. to talk about Dorothy Parker. Meade edited the newly revised The Portable Dorothy Parker and will be signing copies. She also wrote the foreword to Kevin’s book, A Journey into Dorothy Parker’s New York. Both books will be available. The event is FREE and open to the public. The West Side YMCA is the largest of 20 branches of the YMCA of Greater New York, and is the largest free-standing YMCA in the United States. See you there! (Cocktails to follow, of course, location TBD.)

[Here’s Kevin’s interview with Portable Dorothy Parker editor Marion Meade and with cover genius Seth: “This other cartoonist, Chris Ware, they got to do the cover for Candide. He did it in a comic strip format. I think they were just so excited by what he had done with it that they decided to approach some other cartoonists to see if they could extend it into a small line approach to the (Penguin) Classics stuff…. I have a long-standing interest in the old New Yorker. I think that’s why he picked me to work with Dorothy.”]

Algonquin Evening:
Have you heard about the ongoing Vicious Circle lecture series at the Algonquin Hotel? This Monday night series is monthly until the fall. The next one is Monday, June 26, 7 p.m. and it features Kevin Fitzpatrick and his talk “Beyond the Round Table.” There were more than 24 members of the Round Table, tonight we will take a step back 80 years and explore who they all were. Find out about the myths, legends and tall tales surrounding them. See rare photos and hear from long-lost letters and memoirs about the most well-known group of New Yorkers that ever assembled. Special Guest is Anthony Adams, the oldest son of Round Table member Franklin P. Adams (F.P.A.). Anthony will participate in the talk. If you want to attend, tickets are $25 each, and all information is here.

Parker News: What’s Happening in Baltimore?

The news came out a few weeks ago that the NAACP may vote to move from Baltimore to Washington, D.C. What this could mean for the Dorothy Parker Memorial Garden, and her ashes that are buried there, is unclear. The first newspaper to break the story was the Baltimore Sun. Read the story [by the fine repeat New Yorker chronicler Rob Hiaasen—E.G.] here. We will keep you posted about this developing story, keep checking the News Page. By coincidence, 2007 is the 40th anniversary of Mrs. Parker’s death.

Parkerfest September 15-17: Bathtub Gin Ball in the Woolworth Building

The date of our next Parkerfest is Sept. 15-17, 2006. This will be our 8th annual affair, and it promises to be the best one yet. We can now tell you more of the plans, as the special Advance Team has explored the party spot and given it the thumbs-up signal. We’re not taking the boat cruise; we will be on dry land in the historic Woolworth Building, the world’s first skyscraper and at one time the tallest building in the world. We are having the 8th annual Dorothy Parker Bathtub Gin Ball in the Woolworth Tower Kitchen on Saturday, Sept. 16. More details to follow! And, for the first time ever, on Sunday, Sept. 17, come out with your four-legged friends to the inaugural Dorothy Parker New York Dog Walk, on the Upper West Side’s Riverside Park! Open to all Parker fans and their pups! If you want to be on the organizing committee, drop Kevin a line [at kevin AT dorothyparker DOT com]. Here are photos and info of past Parkerfests (be sure to see the photos)…

The necessary book by Dorothy Parker Society founder Kevin Fitzpatrick.