Old? Uncool? Live in a cave? If you’re unable to decipher “Hollaback Girl” or haven’t a clue why people guffaw every time you say your baby’s name, Slang City can help. What’s more, they have the inside scoop on all the mushy—but mysterious—stuff Jake and Heath say to each other in that one cowboy movie. A sampling, original first, translation second:

Ennis: I figure we got a one-shot deal going on here.
Jack: It’s nobody’s business but ours.
Ennis: You know I ain’t queer.
Jack: Neither am I.

Ennis: I think this is something that will only happen once.
Jack: It’s nobody’s business but ours.
Ennis: You know I’m not homosexual.
Jack: Neither am I.

Another newly revealed exchange:

Jack: Swear I didn’t know we were gonna get into this again. Hell, yes I did, redlined it all the way, couldn’t get here fast enough.

Jack: Honestly, I didn’t know we were going to be romantic partners again. Oh, that’s a big lie! I knew it and I was speeding all the way and couldn’t get here fast enough.

Not to mention “I can’t survive on making love to you up here on the mountain once or twice a year! You are too much for me Ennis, you horrible person (‘you sonofawhoreson bitch’)! I wish I knew how to leave you.” There’s lots more here; you’ll eat it up like a freshly fired-up can o’ beans on a sheepy, lonely mountaintop.