4. Ya think?
5. “Females” (that is, women)
6. “Hmm, yeah, I think I might know your byline.” (I know this is practical, in a vague social journalistic-ego-soothing way. But it’s kind of terrible.)
Banned words and phrases 1-3.

Why? Because my old friend Stephen Sheffer is in it, and he’s cute as a button. Why else? Here’s The New Yorker‘s notice (in today’s magazine) for the show; links mine:

“AGORA II”
The site-specific choreographer Noémie LaFrance returns to the vast, empty pool in Greenpoint’s McCarren Park. This time, to fill the massive space, LaFrance’s troupe teams with dancers from Streb, the Young Dance Collective, Celeste Hastings and the Butoh Rockettes, and many others, and select audience participants, who perform unison moves they’ve learned in advance on the Web site. Bora Yoon directs the live music as dancers swarm the pool and the featured characters—including an astronaut, a waitress, a butcher, and a roller skater—emerge. Meanwhile, a beat-boxer flies by on a bicycle, a stuntwoman breaks boards, a bunch of movers carry furniture, and people dash in with buckets of water, filling an inflatable pool. (Lorimer St. at Driggs St., Brooklyn. 718-388-6309. Sept. 13-16 at 8. Through Sept. 30.)

Buy your tickets here. For the easily frightened (you know who you are), it’s the perfect way to spend an evening in Brooklyn without excess timidity—unless modern dance scares you too, in which case I can’t help you.

would make a good if silly single for this band, which I just discovered: Em Dash, of Rochester, NY. So, “Neo-Prog Avant-Nerds,” send me a demo, will you? If I like your sound, you can be the site’s house band.

Image from the just discovered Other People Exist (“Studies have shown that even when they are no longer there, other people continue to exist, with thoughts, feelings and desires just like you”), also the source of this wonderful screed against pet costuming.
But back to the banned words and phrases. A personal, occasional list:

1. “the tender age of”
2. “not so much”
3. impact (noun or “verb”)

Also, entirely the opposite of complaining: Welcome to the world, Henry B.!

I really like this interview with pal Clive Thompson, who’s so articulate about why and how he complements his long-form print journalism with blogging that I kept wanting to cheer in solidarity. I also like his completely unapologetic enthusiasm about the medium itself; yes!

You know, just because Pluto’s been kicked off the planet map doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be giving it just as much attention as we ever did. We can’t all reach our potential. If you’re feeling sad today, sing some space songs, including this one (to the tune of “The Ants Go Marching Two By Two”): “Jupiter, Saturn are next in line. Hurrah! Hurrah! Jupiter, Saturn are next in line. Hurrah! Hurrah! Jupiter, Saturn are next in line. Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto make nine. And they all go spinning, around and around they go.”

Image: University of Amsterdam

Original image credit: “Another great thing that came out of the middle school. Which, at first glance to their website, might not exist. That is indeed a little Pluto that was in the back stairwell of the building. You really had to be there to understand the pure beauty and joy this little styrofoam planet could bring.”

Related: Paul Rudnick, “Intelligent Design”

Amy Winn, reporter, friend, and gifted lindy hopper, had the good fortune to interview Frankie Manning (above in the ’30s), who’d make a terrific New Yorker Profile. If you don’t already know who he is, read the piece, then go out and dance, damnit! If you’re already a fan, or are interested in jazz, dance, or American history, read Amy’s full transcript. Actually, Frankie says it better:

This is an article for the daily newspaper, not just for dancers. What can I tell non-dancers to make them want to come hear you speak?

This is an American art form and if they want to learn anything about it, come to class. If you want to learn about an American art form that started in the 20s and you want to know some history of dance, and history of some things that happened. If you want to hear about legendary figures like, Ellington, Basie, people like that, then that’s what my lecture will be about — my involvement with those people.
…
Do you watch “So You Think You Can Dance,” and “Dancing with the Stars”? What do you think of them, and specifically, what do you think of the swing dancing?

I saw “Dancing with the Stars,” the one with Ryan and Jenny. I got a tape of it. I thought that was great…who better, right?

I think it’s good for everyone, because it actually features dancing and I think people need to get out and dance more and get acquainted with more people, and that’s the way to do it — with partner dancing.

Do you see anything in pop culture today that seems analogous to what lindy hop, jazz, and Harlem meant back in the day? Does you see any major differences or similarities between the today and back then? Do you follow hip-hop?

I don’t really follow it [hip-hop] but I have seen a lot of it and I know some of the fellows and girls from the hip-hop movement. Some things I see, I like, some things that we do, they like. It’s a change of dances, that’s all. I see a lot of what they are doing were things that were done in my day and even before my time, just done to different types of music, so it’s done differently. But I look at very, very old films, from the 1900s, and I say that’s what they are doing nowadays!

Related:
Article, “Frankie Manning: The Ambassador of Lindy Hop” [SavoyStyle]
Frankie dancing in vintage clips from Hellzapoppin (dance starts at 2:42, and you’ve never seen anything like it; Frankie’s in overalls), in The Spirit Moves, and with Willa Mae Ricker [YouTube]
Ryan Francois and Jenny Thomas and their snappy Charleston routine [YouTube]

Says Jeff Hunt at Here and There, who, in his preoccupation with capitalization, is surely a person after my own heart:

I was reading an article on online journalism in The New Yorker by Columbia University’s Nicholas Lemann, and suddenly all those uppercase Is starting popping off the page, stabbing me in the…nevermind.

It became so, so clear, right there, in a single instance as I boarded my BART train ─ internet should be treated as the internet itself would treat it.

You may thinking such a basis is ridiculous, and that, if carried out to its logical conclusion, the word may end up looking something like “nturnt.”

But really. Why capitalize? The internet is no longer novel or particularly well-revered by its users. Its ubiquity increases worldwide every hour, and even my mom has a web-connected computer at home now.

I cast my vote: it’s time to lowercase the i in internet.

Post-script: I also abandoned capitalizing the w in web, and have never understood why some people want website to be two words.

I would have a few copyediting cavils here if I were being hopelessly petty, and never mind is only one word if you’re Kurt Cobain, God rest ‘im, but that would be foolish, because boy, do I agree. While you’re there, read Hunt’s busy is bullshit post, likely inspired (as a commenter notes) by Alex Williams’s Times story “Pencil It In Under ‘Not Happening.'” [Hunt has since written to let me know it was actually just one of those weird harmonic convergences.] Even better than that, though, is an opinion piece I’ve been quoting since January: Bob Morris’s fantastic prescription for New Yorkers to stop with all the plan-canceling. He writes, but you really have to read all of it because it’s much funnier in context,

First, stop canceling social plans for no good reason. While it’s acceptable to cancel due to severe illness or a transit strike, it is impolite to cancel because you are “stressed” or “overwhelmed.”

We are all stressed and overwhelmed. When is the last time anyone you know in this Type A society admitted to having nothing to do? Canceling devalues the importance of another’s time. It is also the bane of every well-meaning host.

Not long ago Andrew Solomon, the author of “The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression” and a generous host, had seven people cancel for dinner.

“One of them told me she had just gone to the gym and came home depressed,” he said. “I told her, ‘Listen I was so depressed I wrote a book about depression, and unless I was hospitalized with it, I would always show up for dinner parties.’ “

That’s because he has a sense of decorum.

But anyone who has tried to give a New Year’s dinner knows decorum flies out the window with guests who can’t commit — bringing me to another resolution.

Stop treating invitations casually, whether for weddings or country weekends. I can’t stand when friends leave me hanging.

“People don’t R.S.V.P. because they’re hedging their bets,” said Michael Bassett, a lawyer who entertains often. “They leave it up to you to call them, and sometimes they still won’t give you an answer.”

Maybe that’s because they’ve become so used to ignoring voice-mail messages.

And while we’re on the telephone, here’s another resolution for others: Stop picking it up when you can’t talk. It’s an act of aggression, and is the single best reason call-waiting should be discontinued. Cont’d.

I can’t say I’ve stopped doing this altogether, but I’m much more aware of the hideousness of this illness now, and am gradually reforming. Eventually I will stop being a plan-canceler for good. Let’s join the revolution!

Update: I’ve gotten a very long letter about this extremely pressing question (that of capitalizing Internet and Web, that is), which I will publish with the writer’s permission. Also, I hope I’ve conveyed that I agree with Jeff Hunt about not capping internet; after all, I’ve called for one-wording “email.” Sorry about the Kurt quip, Jeff! No hard feelings, I hope.

Related:
Nick Lemann “Not Resisting the Web”
Back to the Future

I mean Happy Fourth. I’m on vacation, will be back Thursday, enjoy your sparklers!