Here’s my pal Jasmin Chua’s voting off the island of Logan’s Run: The Steve Buscemi Years, I mean The Island, which, as I explained recently, is the best possible summer movie for you, provided you’re a 14-year-old boy. Scarlett’s lips will forever be in your dreams, and quite rightly, too. Chua:

Meanwhile, Lincoln is spending a lot of time, i.e. enough to set off the facility’s proximity alarms, with Jordan Two-Delta (Scarlett Johansson) whose bee-stung lips are beginning to swell to terrifying, Melanie Griffith proportions. She spouts hokey lines with overly rehearsed, not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman innocence, like “I know you’re lying because your eyes don’t smile.”…. Jordan vacillates between childlike bemusement and childlike trepidation, merely registering, and not reacting to, the chaos on the screen.

If you’re not a 14-year-old boy, may I recommend almost anything else? And actually, if you’re a 14-year-old boy, could ya please rent Lost in Translation? It’s just so good for you.