Undeclared superdelegate Rahm Emanuel’s declarations at the New Yorker Conference proved newsworthy, and the magazine has posted the video of Emanuel’s interview with Ryan Lizza on its website. Now we can fact-check my scribbled quotations together! Yesterday I posted the finest lines from day one, and here are my favorites from the conference’s windup. —MCS
“You cannot get a healthy meal in a New York airport unless you bring it yourself and figure out how to get it through the security checkpoints.” —Paco Underhill
“I believe passionately in rubber-soled shoes.” —Paco Underhill
“Metal chairs should not be part of an airport’s lexicon.” —Paco Underhill
“The filthiest place in the first world is the bathroom in the economy section of a crowded airplane.” —Paco Underhill
“I think of the airport as a Berlin, with a Berlin Wall and a Checkpoint Charlie.” —Paco Underhill
“Has anyone had a pleasant experience at airport security? It’s a Stasi moment.” —Paco Underhill
“I think almost all of us agree that the airport experience is miserable.” —Paco Underhill
“World of Warcraft is the best-designed reality of all time.” —Jane McGonigal
“I have a dream of building an M.M.O. where your dog is your avatar.” —Jane McGonigal
“Miles per gallon is the new high score.” —Jane McGonigal
“I think there are people that know the Obamas better than Rahm does, there are probably people that know the Clintons better than Rahm does, but i don’t think there’s anyone in American politics that knows both the Clintons and the Obamas as well as Rahm does.” —Ryan Lizza
“At this point Barack is the presumptive nominee.” —Rahm Emanuel
“The reference point for change is George Bush.” —Rahm Emanuel
“Like in ’06, you’ve got to go take it from them. They don’t give up power easily.” —Rahm Emanuel
In the two recent special elections in Louisiana and Illinois, “The Republicans ran on taxes in Republican districts and their ace for the last thirty years came up joker.” —Rahm Emanuel
“When Hillary Clinton says, ‘I’m not a quitter, I’m a fighter,’ that is an accurate depiction of who she is.” —Rahm Emanuel
“The government has succeeded in universalizing health care for a population, not the population.” —Rahm Emanuel
“It’s not a coincidence that the big discussion in the Democratic Party is about trade and the big discussion in the Republican Party is about immigration.” —Rahm Emanuel
“Verizon is in the record business. Proctor and Gamble is in the record business.” —Steve Stoute
“The poster child for that ‘no sellout’ thing was Bob Dylan, and he ends up in a Victoria Secret ad.” —Steve Stoute
“We know that New York is the number-one terrorist target in the United States.” — Raymond W. Kelly
“You’d be hard-pressed to look at the high-end fashion industry and say they’re in trouble.” —James Surowiecki
“A copyright on the pinstripe would certainly be troubling.” —Scott Hemphill
“H&M is kind of like a gateway drug.” —Kal Raustiala
“I have a certain aversion to most famous people.” —Sheila Nevins
“The fictionalization of war seems better suited for after the war.” —Sheila Nevins
“Daytime is boring.” —Sheila Nevins
“Real Sex is our Sesame Street—people re-learn the alphabet every day.” —Sheila Nevins
“Opera fans are as fanatical about opera as sports fans are about sports.” —Peter Gelb
“One of the common errors that Americans make is to believe that all good things go together.” —Fareed Zakaria
“The real story is that the rest of the world is rising.” —Fareed Zakaria
“Over the last ten or fifteen years, China has opened up a lot more than people realize—but there are no political rights.” —Fareed Zakaria
“John McCain has drunk the neocon Kool-Aid.” —Fareed Zakaria
“It’s a good thing for there to be other centers of wealth.” —Fareed Zakaria
“In the Middle East, you had oil, you had failed dictatorships, and the two combined to form kind of an unholy alliance.” —Fareed Zakaria
“Being the 800-pound gorilla in the room is very different from being a small mouse in the room looking at the 800-pound gorilla.” —Fareed Zakaria
Note: Quotations are as accurate as I could make them; in a couple of instances I have replaced a pronoun with its antecedent.
Category Archives: The Squib Report
The New Yorker Conference Is Quotable: Day One
Martin spent the day yesterday flying down the heady waterslide that is the New Yorker Conference, where inventors, scientists, politicians, filmmakers, programmers, musicians, and others with an eye on the daunting/thrilling place that is the future talk with New Yorker editors and writers about their work. Now in its second year (it’s timed to go with the apparently now annual Innovators Issue), it’s a brainy mini-marathon, punctuated by sweeping visual effects (thanks in great part to Frank Gehry’s floaty IAC Building) and fancy snacks.
All of which I was sorry to miss this year, along with the strong and welcome sense that I had become smarter in a single day. Luckily for us, Martin got back from Austria just in time to attend, and is even now being walloped with more visionary ideas, but in the meantime, he’s collected some of the most memorable lines from the first set of conference conversations. Kottke has been blogging the conference as well (and made the magazine’s new Twitter feed), and we can look forward to hearing more from Martin soon. Will some of the talks be available later on video? As a low-tech guru once said, signs point to yes. —EG
“Malcolm Gladwell has a new book coming out next year. It has already sold two and a half trillion copies.” —David Remnick
“Imagine this enormous room filled with incredibly sweaty teenagers with teeth missing.” —Malcolm Gladwell
“Scouting combines are, for lack of a better word, a disaster.” —Malcolm Gladwell
“I don’t think anyone could look at the President of the United States and not conclude that we have a massive mismatch problem.” —Malcolm Gladwell
“Ninety-nine percent of what policemen do is relational—resolving disputes and so on. So why are all cops big beefy guys?” —Malcolm Gladwell
“More politicians should screw up more often.” —Gavin Newsom
“I was trying to figure out why I am speaking third today. I think I was the top choice of all the sports combines.” —Andy Stern
“Change is inevitable; progress is optional.” —Andy Stern
“S.E.I.U. had to go from a lapdog of a political party to a watchdog for its members.” —Andy Stern
“Originally ‘Workers of the world unite’ was an ideological formulation; now it is a practical one.” —Andy Stern
“I am a very bad caffeine metabolizer.” —Michael Specter
“Rapidity in genetics is higher than Moore’s Law.” —Michael Specter
“For geeks like me, sexual data repositories are heaven.” —Michael Specter
“Drugs on average only work on 40 percent of the people who take them.” —Linda Avey
“Earwax is, you know, breathtaking.” —Anne Wojcicki
“We used to think, ‘We’ll figure out the gene for breast cancer, we’ll figure out the gene for Parkinson’s, we’ll figure out the gene for why I talk too much.'” —Michael Specter
“Anyone here seen those old James Bond films? Well, you’re looking at Q—actually, Q’s boss.” —Eric Haseltine
“Intellipedia is the single greatest advancement in the intelligence community since 9/11, and it cost zero dollars and took eighteen months.” —Eric Haseltine
“In the Cold War, the NSA came to mirror the Soviet Union.” —Eric Haseltine
“You cannot kill an idea with a bullet. You have to kill it with a better idea.” —Eric Haseltine
“Intelligence isn’t neat gadgets. Intelligence is computers and math.” —Eric Haseltine
“We developed a robotic hand but it developed arthritis.” —Yoky Matsuoka
“I have Duncan Sheik to thank that in my house, ‘Some Enchanted Evening’ now segues into a song called ‘Totally Fucked.'” —Susan Morrison
“Rock and roll in musicals—it’s like seeing your grandmother in a hula hoop.” —Duncan Sheik
“Of all the continents in the world, the one with the most hybridized conditions is Africa.” —David Adjaye
“These are like the three coolest chefs you will ever see in your life.” —Bill Buford
“Twenty-five years in Switzerland is maybe enough.” —Daniel Humm
“If you don’t go nuts in the kitchen at least once a day, it’s not worth it.” —Marc Taxiera
“I always think when a new season comes—this is my favorite season.” —Daniel Humm
“I think New York has more than four seasons. It has like twelve seasons.” —Daniel Humm
“Cooking is the only profession I know where you get to act like a buffoon all day with your friends.” —David Chang
“I can tell a California cook from a New York cook any day of the week—they’re slower…. I’m calling out all of California, pretty much.” —David Chang
“This is why I became a writer—my grandmother sucked in the kitchen.” —Bill Buford
“Ten years ago everyone wanted to have an omelet.” —Bill Buford
“The Berlin Wall fell in 1989. It’s probably the most important economic event in any of our lifetimes.” —Michael Novogratz
“Ramen noodles is everyone’s friend during two-dollar-a-day week.” —Amy Smith
“The truth is, there are ingenious people everywhere.” —Amy Smith
“I found out that most of these divas, whether Italian or American, were attached to needlework.” —Francesco Vezzoli
Note: Certain quotations altered very slightly to make comprehension more seamless. Not that short-term memory is flawless anyway.
Franzen Thinks Big about Floridian Plovers and Chinese Gulls
Martin Schneider writes:
The website bigthink.com has just put up a bunch of entertaining clips featuring the full-throated inflections of Jonathan Franzen. There’s one on his difficulties accepting Oprah’s endorsement in 2001, a pair on over- (Forster, Greene) and underrated (Smiley, Stead) books, and a few on China. And there are some I haven’t even mentioned!
I’m a recent devotee of birdwatching, so I choose to single out Franzen’s “Idea” in which he reads a portion of his glum and illuminating essay, “My Bird Problem,” (abstract only) which first appeared in the August 8, 2005, issue of The New Yorker:
I took up birdwatching after this essay was published, so I’m grateful for the reminder!
Other New Yorker luminaries featured on bigthink.com include David Remnick (as we have already pointed out), Calvin Trillin, and Paul Muldoon.
Adam Gopnik Brings the Magic
Martin Schneider writes:
Catching up on some of The New Yorker‘s online-only stuff here. In a podcast interview conducted by Matt Dellinger, Adam Gopnik does an exceptional job of explaining the substance of “The Real Work,” his article about Jamy Swiss and the art of performing magic.
It’s not online, but if you have the March 17 issue lying around, it is worth your while. So listen and read!
Maybe We’ll Witness Tony and Tina’s Wedding After All
Martin Schneider writes:
So they want to turn Tina Brown’s biography of Princess Diana into a musical. Over at Gawker, readers are busy casting the musical—mostly with people who never stray from film or TV. (I love that “NOOOO!” department.) It would be the first time a New Yorker editor has inspired a musical since Andrew Lloyd Webber’s legendary flop Ross!
I think the only rational response is to think up silly song titles. I came up with a few to get us started:
“Royal Love Train”
“Balmoral Hazard”
“Shy Di”
“Squidgygate”
“Raine, Raine, Go Away”
“The War of the Waleses” (medley)
“The 42 Longs”
“I’m Just Looking For a Guy with a Gulfstream”
“Hasnat Khan a Lovely Smile?”
“The Royal Oui”
“Mama and Paparazzi”
“That’s an Awful Lot of Flowers”
“The People’s Princess”
Got any to add to the list? (And just kidding about Ross!)
Title About TK TK
Scott McLemee gently corrects a blogger’s misconception of “-30-,” the apt title of the final episode of The Wire.
McLemee also mentions “TK” and links to the Wikipedia page, called “To Come.” I don’t work in the magazine world, but I did briefly some years ago. Nowadays there’s so little virgin territory left in Wikipedia, I was honestly shocked that an essential and presumably beloved piece of journalism minutiae like “TK” has such an underdeveloped Wikipedia page.
As of yesterday morning, the entirety of the page consisted of two declarative sentences defining the term followed by a long, rather boring quotation from the Chicago Manual of Style in full-on schoolmarm mode disparaging the use. It looked like this:
“To Come” is a printing and journalism reference abbreviated “TK.” It is used to signify additional material will be added at a later date.
The Chicago Style Q&A on manuscript preparation describes it as imprecise, stating, “It’s best to be more straightforward and specific. For example, use bullets or boldface zeros (••• or 000) to stand in for page numbers that cannot be determined until a manuscript is paginated as a book (but see paragraph 2.37 in CMOS). For items like missing figures, describe exactly what’s missing. In electronic environments, you have recourse to comment features—like the syntax of SGML, which allows for descriptive instructions that will not interfere with the final version of a document. Make sure that whatever you do stops the project in its tracks at some point before publication.”
Well! Consider yourself tut-tutted, magazine and newspaper people! And by book people, no less! (I do love the CMS, but their strictures have only questionable utility to magazines, I’d imagine.)
That didn’t sit right with me. I haven’t even seen a “TK” in a professional capacity for several years, but I went and added a reference to the Breeders’ 2002 album Title TK and a paragraph (almost surely to be judged insufficiently NPOV) explaining why “TK” makes a lot more sense at Condé Nast than it does at Random House, where CMS holds sway. It makes sense to me, but it’s just a guess.
There must be a healthy number of magazine and newspaper employees reading this. Surely that Wikipedia page can benefit from your experience and judgment, no?
So by all means emulate Nicholson Baker (a.k.a. “wageless”) and add some information to that entry! “TK” must have an intriguing history! There must be amusing anecdotes! (Most, probably, involving “TK” making its way to the newsstand.) When did it start? Who invented it? Do style guides acknowledge it, or is it more informal? How did “to come” get abbreviated to “TK,” anyway? Is there a procedural justification for doing that? Has anyone ever gotten a “TK” tattoo?
And just think: all the answers are entirely TK.
The New Yorker’s Guide to the Eliot Spitzer Situation
Looking at the blogosphere, I’ve seen three pieces of writing mentioned in connection with Eliot Spitzer’s stunning predicament; two of them appeared in The New Yorker.
To start, Garth Risk Hallberg at the Millions returns to Nick Paumgarten’s fine profile of the governor from last December, presciently titled “The Humbling of Eliot Spitzer” (little did he know!). Hallberg approvingly quotes Paumgarten’s description of Spitzer’s impulsiveness, which now reads like a masterpiece of understatement.
Second, the scandal reminds The New Republic‘s Noam Scheiber of Portnoy’s Complaint, which did not, alas, first appear in The New Yorker, which fact should not prevent us from admiring Brendan Gill’s astonishing description of the novel as “a single, hysterical howl of excrementitious anguish.”
And finally, the Emperors Club that got Spitzer into so much trouble seems to have been more than a little bit pretentious, touting the “individual education, sophistication … erudition and educational standing/accomplishments” of its “models,” prompting the New York Times blog Laugh Lines to quote several lines from Woody Allen’s classic story “The Whore of Mensa.”
George Packer Successfully Attains Hyphenate-dom
Martin Schneider writes:
It’s difficult to contemplate George Packer’s first play, Betrayed, without using the word authenticity, which aspect does not exhaust its virtues. I went into the performance imagining that it might be something of a chore, but it was far from that. Derived from Packer’s lengthy article of the same name, which ran in the March 26, 2007, issue of The New Yorker, the play is about two Iraqis whose well-nigh bottomless idealism towards the occupying/liberating Americans is put to the test.
Americophiles from way back, Laith, a Shiite, and Adnan, a Sunni, start working as translators in the Green Zone only to find themselves in a remorseless no man’s land, blithely treated as potential suicide bombers by their well-meaning but ultimately apathetic employers and reviled as traitors by their neighbors outside the Green Zone.
Chief among the charms of the evening, play and production alike, is the nuanced portrait of the duo at its heart. Likeable and fundamentally apolitical, Laith and Adnan gamely put up with a welter of indignities from the Americans, most of whom (with one notable exception) are content to do their jobs and not entertain the consequences of the fear-driven system in which they are operating.
The betrayal of the title recalls the myopia we showed in letting Hungary twist in the wind in 1956—not to mention the empty promises of 1991 so vividly portrayed in David O. Russell’s Three Kings, a movie with a somewhat similar agenda to Betrayed. Packer is, of course, first and foremost a reporter, and he lends the material a depth of observational detail that no ordinary playwright can match.
In recent times we have seen Tim Robbins’ play Embedded, Brian DePalma’s movie Redacted, Robert Baer’s movie Uncovered … it’s easy to get mixed up. I hope the conflation of title confusion and outrage fatigue prevents no engaged theater devotee from seeing Betrayed. It runs until April 13, so there’s plenty of time, and tickets are as low as $25 in a small room in which even the last row is a decent seat.
Academia and The New Yorker: The Next Wave
Levi Fox, Gretchen Sund, and Caroline Altman, three enterprising undergraduates from the American Studies Program at the University of Virginia, have put up a stimulating suite investigating the unique status of The New Yorker as a “local” magazine with a decidedly “national” profile.
According to the editor’s introduction, the suite “examines the people who defined New Yorker humor in its early days and drove the magazine’s success” and takes a look at its formerly “elitist advertising policy.” They look at some of the analogues of The New Yorker, both at home (Vanity Fair, Saturday Evening Post, Collier’s) and abroad (Germany’s Simplicissimus, London’s Punch) . They also take a peek at a few memorable wartime covers.
Good work! I hope that all three of them become passionate Emdashes readers—if they aren’t already!
Note: Thanks for The Millions for including a link to this in his most recent “Curiosities” post. Emily kindly reminds me that it’s been sitting in the Rossosphere for ages! I thought it looked familiar.
Fact: “New” Plus “Jack Handey” Often Equals Laughter
Jack Handey has a book coming out! I just learned this, and it made me happy. Pub date is April 8! The title story, “What I’d Say to the Martians,” might be the funniest thing I’ve read in the past five years; you can read it here. How much “Shouts & Murmurs” stuff has made it to book form? I reckon Woody Allen and Steve Martin have pulled it off. Anyone else?
I love the cover, too:
New York’s Upright Citizens Brigade has been hosting a series of highly entertaining reading events to promote Ben Karlin’s new anthology, Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me. I went to the one last Thursday, and fellow “Shouts and Murmurs” alum Paul Simms read part of his very funny chapter.
At one point Brooke Shields showed up and told a great story about dating the not-yet-outed frontman for a very popular 1980s singing duo that must, alas, remain nameless.
Fun fact: Brooke Shields has never written a “Shouts & Murmurs” item!
